But being happy and having what I want means more then just following some rules this week. It means actually knowing what I want. In my classic neuroticism, I have composed a list of my various wants. These are the things I think it will take for me to be happy throughout life.
This Week:
1) To feel healthy.
-Eat healthfully and follow the plan I have set up with my nutritionist.
-Follow my exercise plan.
-Sleep and relax sufficiently.
2) To feel confident in my classes.
-Attend all lectures and discussions.
-Complete all readings, homework and quizzes before due dates.
3) To feel connected by being be active socially.
-Go out to dinner with the girls Sunday night
-Go out at night with friends 2-4 times this week
-Go out on one or more dates
4) To feel emotionally content.
-See my psychologist
-Sleep every night
-Write or sculpt at least 2 times this week
-Call my family at least 2 times this week
-Shower, dress and feel good about my appearance daily
-Journal about ED, sleep, emotions, exercise, nutrition, etc. daily
5) To begin plans for upcoming travel.
-Research spring break destinations and air fares to
-Plan out a budget that will allow me to save enough money for this
This Month:
1) To feel pride for being successful academically.
-Get an A on my first Bio test
-Stay caught up with all readings, homework and quizzes and score well
-Plan out LAS101 classes well and feel proud of my work
-Create a final list of the graduate programs to which I will apply
-Request recommendation letters
-Draft my personal statement
2) To feel strong and beautiful.
-Continue to make progress in overcoming my ED
-Continue to see nutritionist, exercise advisor, sleep expert
-Do not weigh myself
-Accept compliments graciously and avoid putting others down
3) To feel connected.
-Date new people
-Go home at least once
-See all my close friends at times when I am not drinking at least once
4) To feel centered.
-Continue to see the psychologist twice monthly
-Journal frequently
-Take me time by doing at least two of the following every day:
walk to no where in particular, read something not for school, watch a movie, watch TV on the couch, play with clay, write not for school, take a bath, go shopping, meet a friend for coffee or dinner, take a nap, masturbate, etc.
5) To follow the travel savings plan that I created and finalize Spring Break plans.
In the Next Year:
1) Get into the Neuroscience program at Northwestern
2) Go to a
3) Declare myself recovered from my ED
4) Become financially independent
5) Enter into a new romantic relationship
6) Gain full control of my bipolar disorder
7) Stay close with family and friends
In the Next 5-10 Years:
1) Receive PhD in neuroscience
2)
3) Get married
4) Stay Close with family and friends
5) Maintain a healthy weight and lifestyle
6) Travel to
In Life:
1) Never stop learning
2) Have a successful marriage
3) Raise well-adjusted children
4) Keep many meaningful friendships
5) Stay very close with my family
6) See the world, its natural wonders and varied cultures
This activity has shown me that feeling a certain way is the ultimate goal, and that this is achieved by being and doing, not by having. Living a life that makes me feel proud, beautiful, connected and centered is my goal and achieving this will require professional success in a field that utilizes my talents in a way that helps others, a healthy lifestyle, strong interpersonal relationships and making time for myself.
What my Mother might call a revelation of the obvious.
My first semester of college I had an incredible political theory professor who told a small group of eager Freshman the simplest and most profound thing I have yet heard. She said that if you can figure out who you are and what you are doing, you will find happiness. The statement seemed imbecile at first, but I have returned to it frequently. I still am unable to say that I can answer that question entirely, but I am much closer than I was three years ago.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment