Something about Sunday always makes me feel as though I have a chance to start over, a new week with another chance to be the person I want to be. I binged horribly all weekend (again), but I don't have the same emotional response to it as I used to. I don't feel the anguish or tremendous guilt, just confuision at my actions. Anyway, I have decided that I can't wait to lose the extra weight. I do not want to be super skinny like I was before, but I do want to be at my doctor-recommended "ideal weight". That means losing about 9-10 lbs. I will do so slowly and without extra exercise. I am planning to cut about 100 calories from each of the 6 meals I am supposed to eat daily, dropping my total from 1800 to as low as 1200. This is not a starvation diet, and it leaves alot of room. Now, even if I overeat, I wil be maintaining, not gaining.
In other news, I think I may have met a guy that could turn out to be worth while. Thursday night we met at a bar listening to a band, turns out they were friends of his. He is a bit older, 25, and I really felt comfortable with him. He is free thinking and a little edgey, and spent the last 3 yrs. dicking around in CA, which is cool. He texted me Friday afternoon, "Stoked to have met u last night. I had a really great time. I want to take you out to dinner soon..." I haven't heard from him yet since then (I was hoping to maybe on Saturday, but alas, I just binged in anticipation. Just as well, I certainly wouldn't have wanted dinner anyway.) He sent that the next day though when he had had time to sober up and think aboutthings, so I still think he will probably call at some point. Oh dating, good times. Also in Kim's love life: The dairy farmer guy with the perfect body still calls me on occaission, but I for some reason lack drive for meaningless sex (gasp!).
I am still determined to have a binge free weekend. It hasn't happened yet, but it will. I just need to remember that I cannot deviate even a little from my plan on weekends. Perhaps next week.
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1 comment:
Hello!
I don't know too much about you to comment on this particular post but I came by your blog today for the very first time. I've never been able to understand the passion that some have for blogging but I love reading stuff that awakens the mind and inflames the imagination. I think yours is an admirable blog and reading this post and through your archives was interesting. I couldn't resist the temptation to do just that. The more scope it gave to my mind although I was hoping to read and leave quietly without surprising you with any comment. Perhaps you will be inviting me back sometime if you think a counter visit is worth one infringement of your normal routine? I'll look out for your arrival. Until then, take care.
btw: have you seen or read the master and margarita?
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