3.17.2009

Working Hard

Thanks to everyone for their positive comments on the post from yesterday :)

Today is my intense work day- I have to have a draft of my entire thesis completed before tomorrow and I also need to create a scientific poster of my work (which sounds easier than it is) for a symposium the week I get back from my trip. I have a dinner and all-night-study party planned with the ladies this evening, and am hoping that I can get everything done by like 2am so I can sleep a little tiny bit.

I have successfully stuck to my 1,600 calorie plan the last couple of days, and it actually is pretty easy. It's funny because when I first switched from anorexic mode to binge eating mode, that seemed fucking impossible. If I could have just been able to handle this then I would probably still be a size 2. But yeah, my starving brain wasn't having that. Not to mention, at that point I was still running 100 miles a week, so I guess the circumstances are a little different. But I must keep telling myself: I do not want to be that skinny. I want to be at my doctor's recommended ideal weight, and once I am in that range I will go back to 1,800 and not worry about the occasional treat. It's all about the health factor, right? And maybe if I keep working on changing my mind like this, I can actually, fully convince myself I look better at a 6-8 than a 2. Here's to hoping, right?

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