8.30.2008

Why Daft Dragon?


Dragon because I was born in the year of the Dragon. Also, people talk about addictions as "chasing the dragon", perpetually trying to recapture the experience of the elusive first high. But this need is insatiable as I am insatiable. Dragon because my eating disorder is my addiction. I am recovering from "exercise bulimia". For the last year of my life I ate approximately 5 times what I needed to and ran literally 100 miles per week. My shrink said I ought to think of the urges as something outsaide myself so I dubbed my disease "the Dragon". Dragon because I work in a psychopharmacology lab, primarily researching cocaine and methamphetamine, so drug terminology is often on my mind. Dragon for the raw power the animal connotes.
Daft because I fear my reality is skewed and my control is waning. At this moment I feel quite sane, but I have the fascinating condition known as rapid cycling bipolar disorder. Just because it's sunny now doesn't mean it will be in five minutes. Daft because my eating disorder makes me feel as though the person inside me that drives me to accomplish all that I do is cohabiting with a saboteur ready to unravel me at every opportunity. Daft because I am anything but usual.

And so daft dragon shall meander my path.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

How fitting... Daft Dragon. Although we are so very different... we are still so very similar.