Love and Knowledge

What would the world be like if humans were asexual organisms? It seems like a huge proportion of our thoughts and energies are dedicated to pursuing, interacting and obsessing over members of our desired sex. If the energy put into romantic relationships over the millenia had been channelled into societal progress, I predict that environmental degredation would have already been addressed and reversed, colonization of farflung galaxies would be well underway, people would live to ages of hundreds of years, and we would live in enlightened, educated societies with social norms based on cooperation and respect. Or perhaps I am simplifying the problem too much. As much as I often argue this in reverse, I suppose it is the love and acceptance element of sex that many people are looking for, and that would still be in tact. It seems it is the nature of the human condition that love and knowledge will be perpetually at odds.

I am still young and fairly new at this, but after 5 years of dating that have included three serious relationships and dozens of less serious ones I have learned something about myself: I am smarter when I am single and without prospects. When I have a crush I am in pursuit, planning ways that I might "run into" the person and thinking about what I will need to do to get a date. When I am dating someone, I am obsessing about when they will call and where the relationship will go, and when I have an actual boyfriend I am far too worried about his well-being to take proper care of my own. I can think of two periods, once when I was 18 and once again just a few weeks ago, when I was completely single and without any prospects. I was suddenly very clear about what I wanted to do with my life, I had perspective, I took care of my health and emotional well-being and I pursued interests that were entirely my own. Now I am once again barely dating a crush and instead of finishing some of my creative writing endeavors or reading my Kundera I am stalking him on facebook and spending far too long deciding how to respond to very simple text messages. I am already less true to myself it seems. I do not have the motivation to study.
On the other hand, I am much happier. When my love life is nonexistent I am often bored, lonely, sad. My emotions are less stable and my general contentedness is diminished. It goes back to the two things I value: Love and knowledge. It almost seems that there is a set amount I can have of the two and the balance is continually shifting. Like how after a breakup I dive into work or how when I am in a new relationship I neglect my studies. The funny thing about that is that love, not knowledge, is the explanatory variable. I guess that shows what is of ultimate importance to me. Love comes first.