I feel AMAZING today. I had a revelation: losing weight won't change my life at all. Seriously. The only thing I could rack my brain to come up with is that my clothes would fit better. Nothing else would change. Weight is just weight and body size is just body size. It has no further ramifications. So, this is how I am and I am truthfully happy with it. I am ___ pounds and where a size ___. (I'm not ashamed of my numbers, I just have gleaned that blanking them is the kosher thing to do in the ED world.) This is me, and that is fine, great even. I am not trying to change my body. I am eating and exercising for health. For real, like I am not just saying that because I am supposed to or to keep my shrink happy.
Speaking of shrinks... I have an appointment with a new clinical psychologist next week. I also have an appointment with a psychiatrist who is going to evaluate whether any sort of medication would help me. I am going to treat this ED business like a war and I am going to launch a full fledged attack on all fronts- I am still seeing a nutritionist, a fitness councelor (who I had a great meeting with today), and have even had a couple of appointments with a sleep councelor. I am truly ready to let go of my ED and I want to move forward.
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10 comments:
Good for you! It's a hard point to get to, and perhaps, a hard road ahead. But with that kind of determination, you will CERTAINLY make it. Being ED-free is pretty awesome...more so than I thought it could be. Hang in there!
Freaking awesome to hear...send some of your wisdom my way!!!!
(((kim))))
Love, Z
OH wow, this is amazing! I'm so happy to read this you made me smile! And if the only reason to lose weight is that maybe your clothes would fit better then maybe it's time to do some shopping! :D
My therapist asked me about telling my Dad about how I feel just yesterday. I don't know ho to though, or how to act, or what to say, all I know is to pretend I don't care because it's what I feel I'm being met with. If that makes sense.
But never mind that, still wow, go you and your enthusiasm and determination!
Virginia x
Congrats on deciding to fight this ED full-force!
Thanks guys!!!
I am feeling awesome, I wish I could like brainwave it to everyone!
I am seriously sooo helped by all of your comments, thank you!
hey there kim, how is going? update us when you can, Im interested to find out how you are manageing to kick this Ed in the Ass, I too used to be a compulsive over exerciser...until my heart gave out....
love, Zena
Thanks for the inquiry Z! Knowing that people are looking to see how I am doing with this is really helping me stay motivated and positive, I most sincerely appreciate you checking in.
xKimX
I just read your blog for the first time, but I think this post is awesome and when you start to stray from these feelings, re-read this post!! Good luck!
i love new readers :)
and thank you, sound advice I'll try and take!
I think the consensus is that scrawny, boney women are what men like because men are threatened by strong women. Size doesn't make someone NECESSARILY stronger. There are mental, technical, and skillful aspects to a person's overall constitution. But it can be said that a person who has developed their muscles will be at an advantage over someone who hasn't. So, who should we look up to? Both men and women? Who are the healthy ones that we should look to for guidance? I think Navy Seals have good bodies... :)
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