Update On Recovery!!!

Drug Abstinance/Alcohol Reduction Update:
So I have not had any cigarettes this week. That is good. I also went to a hippie show on Thursday and refrained from all drugs besides pot, which I consider a victory. I did drink last night, but I didn't use anything else (even though there was a lovely eight ball available to me). This all feels like I am making good progress on my toning-down-the-partying front. Also, seeing as it is Saturday night and I am in my apartment powering through grad school apps rather than at a bar powering through shots, I think I am doing quite well.

Eating Disorder Update:
Feeling pretty good. I have this little notebook I have been carrying with me, and on the top half I plan what I eat for the day and on the bottom I write what I actually eat. I also have two boxes to check off, one for a "recovery activity" (journaling, blogging, meditating, nature walk) and one for remembering to make the next day's plan. I have not been very good about remembering these things (maybe3-4 days I got to check my boxes). I have calories alotments for each day based on what my nutritionist has told me and on how much I work out, and this week I was slightly over but stayed pretty close.

But the big news?
I HAVE NOT BINGED FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK!!!

How, you ask?

Well...
1) One thing is that I have stuck to my exercise plan (60-75 minutes 4 days/week rather than my former near-daily 4 hour purge runs) and avoided dieting, so I have not been ultra-starving.
2) Also, I have been letting myself have the foods I want. Peanut butter? 1 slice of bread with that fabulous spread. Muffin from the coffee shop? I'll try banana nut. Amazingly, incorporating this stuff and knowing I can have it again when I want it makes me not crave it even when I am feeling stressed or lonely.

But mostly, I think it was my change in mind set that actually let the tried and true strategies work this time around.

But wait! It gets even better!!

I don't hate myself nor do I feel the utter hopelessness I have been plagued with much of the last year. Yes, I am stressed- it is the last week before fall break so classes are crazy and all my grad apps are due. Yes, I am lonely- J left this morning for a week long business trip and I leave town the day before he returns.
But self-loathing? Nah. I'm actually pretty proud of myself, and I feel like I can handle the world.

So I think this whole lightening up on the drugs thing combined with a positive mindset, full support system (family, friends, boyfriend, nutritionist, exercise councelor, psychiatrist, psychologist, heck I even have a sleep councelor), and a mountain of self-help books may actually be enough to kick this nasty little bugger.

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL OF YOU HAVE OFFERED YOUR SUPPORT, IT HAS TRULY HELPED ME GET TO THIS POINT AND I OWE YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR HELPING ME GET ON THIS PATH TO RECOVERY!!!