New Chapter : )

I'm Going to Madison!
I am back to normal life! I got home from my Northwestern interview on Saturday, and I am completely done with the whole process. And the even better news? I GOT IN TO MADISON!!! I am totally stoked, and ready to tell them I accept the offer. I am just taking a few days to really mull it over because, hey, this is a pretty big decision. Last night J and I celebrated- we made chicken marsala and roasted asparagus, and then had chocolate fondue and a really fantastic bottle of wine. I am SO lucky to have this fantastic supportive guy coming with me into this next stage of my life, and I won't soon forget how fortunate I am...

On that note I do have to say one thing about the relationship stuff. We are at about 5 months (I know, I know, it's all really fast) and that for me is usually about the time when things start to change. Now, I was just reading some Vedic mantra business (I'm an eastern philosophy junkie in secret I guess) and one thing that comes up over and over is, essentially, "to expect people to be other than what they have been is irrational/crazy". Well, when I met J he was a heavy drinker/smoker and generally living very unhealthily. Given the things he had gone through in the preceding months (and my own habits at the time), I decided this was understandable and would wait and see what happened. Then for a while things were just getting better and better- we were cooking healthy food together, going to the gym, we were both hardly drinking outside of the weekends and he pretty much stopped smoking cigarettes and pot. Over the last couple of weeks, though, things seem to have digressed. He doesn't usually want to go to the gym with me, so either I don't go either or I go alone (like this morning). He is smoking cigarettes sometimes and pot occasionally, which wouldn't bother me really on it's own but in conjunction with other stuff it grates on me. Most troublesome to me, though, is that he hasn't gone a day without a drink in over a week. I feel bad for even knowing that/keeping track, but it really makes me sad. He knows it's an issue for him (and consequently me) but I have a hard time saying anything about it because I don't want him to withdraw or start lying to me or something. I was thinking about talking to him tonight and asking if we could go back to the clean Monday-Thursday plan, but I am nervous about doing so because I don't want to hurt his feelings. Any wisdom is appreciated.

As for my own health, I anticipate being much more together now that constant stress and travel are over...
ED/Health Stuff
At the gym today I weighed 158.2 lbs. This is almost as high as my high point Freshman year of college (161). I am actually not feeling too awful about it because I have had a lot of other stuff going on recently that seemed more important than my weight, and I think I had legitimate reason for skipping a couple of workouts and eating/drinking some extra treats (hey, it was all free!). Anyway, now that I am back to pseudo-normalcy I am fully ready to implement the get-fit plan. I am looking at losing about 1 lb/wk until I get to the 140-145 range that is supposedly my body's ideal. I have stopped seeing the nutritionist, the fitness counselor and the therapist. I may still make appointments with the first two at some point, but I honestly don't know when that will be. I think I have gotten pretty much everything out of these people that I can and the rest is up to me. So, here is the plan:

Nutrition:

Breakfast: 1 cup Fiber One flake cereal, 1/2 cup Fiber One original, 1 cup skim milk
Snack: 6 oz. container Lite'n'Fit yogurt, 1 piece fresh fruit
Lunch: 350 calories, including some protein, whole grain and vegetable
Snack: Romaine salad with 1/4 cup gorgonzola and 2 tbsp. raspberry dressing
Dinner: Up to 700 calories, preferably something cooked at home
Late snack: Tea with honey (or maybe a treat or a cocktail if dinner was small)

This plan is about 1800 calories/day. The everyday foods are things I love, but I am still planning to tweak it weekly to avoid getting to tired of stuff. According to SELF magazine this ought to make me lose about 1 lb./wk.

Fitness:

Monday:60 min elliptical, (1 min sprints every 10 minutes), 10 min stretch
Tuesday:30 min elliptical w/ sprints, 20 min strength training, 10 min stretch30 min
Thursday:60 min elliptical w/ sprints, 10 min stretch
Friday:elliptical w/ sprints, 20 min strength training, 10 min stretch
(Saturday):30 minute run outside if the weather is nice

Once again, according to that lovely magazine, 3.5 hrs. of cardio per week combined with an 1800 calorie diet should let me lose 1 pound each week. I think I will put in weekly weight updates, so we shall see how it works. I'm just excited to be feeling good about a plan that is non-extreme. Oh, and I am also writing down what I eat in a little note pad and trying to plan meals the day before. This helps me a lot. I am making an effort to do one "recovery activity" each day- blog, journal, meditate, read from one of my old self-help books about ED stuff- just to keep myself mentally on track.

Yay, normal life! How I love it!