Balance

It has been five days since I last binged and two weeks since I last binged at my apartment. I make this distinction because I visited my parent's house last week, and the ED recovery was in disaster mode. For now, however, I feel very healthy.
I think that my ED goes in rhythm with my bipolar. I am not sure whether moods trigger binges or vice versa, but for now I feel more stable than I have in months and my bulimia is in much, much better shape. Also, I have been taking my thyroid hormone supplement and birth control pills routinely at the same time each day. With the help of a sleep councelor, I have even started to win the battle against insomnia ( a perpetual demon of manic depression). I have been taking time for myself daily and being sure to properly nurture friendships. I feel more whole than I have in over a year.
I am currently applying to graduate school with the hope of pursuing a PhD in neuroscience. I want to study neuroendocrinology and learn about why and how my hormone imbalance (thyroid deficiency), bipolar disorder, and sleep problems relate. I think these are very interconnected issues, and there is a small group of nationally renowned scientists that has started to investigate this issue.
I have a good balance right now between the different areas of my life. Although I will probably not be able to maintain my 4.0 this semester, I think I will be a much healthier, happier person for making time for other areas of my life, such as health, self-love and relationships.
Another revelation of the obvious: driving myself into the ground with my work is not the best way to live my life. I am so glad I am figuring this out at 20 rather than 50.
As for now, I am getting ready to go out for the night. I am still dating (a little) but not on the verge of anything serious. Although I often feel lonely and very much want a relationship, I am realizing that the love I need right now is actually from my family. I had a bit of a breakthrough with my psychologist the other day when he asked me why the bingeing is so bad at home. I realized I am not lonely because I am single. I am lonely because I do not articulate my need for nurturing well enough to my parents. I need to work on this
For now, the night is young, so am I, and there is fun to be had.