10.11.2008
I Hate Being Bulimic
Today was even worse than yesterday... I have hit a new low. I want to escape everyone I know and not speak to them any more. I hate being judged so fucking harshly all the time. Last night I "went skiing" so I was low this morning. I was bingeing all day and I decided I was going to exercise purge, which I hadn't actually done since June. I additionally actually successfully made myself throw up, only the third or fourth time I have actually done that. I really don't want to go this route, I have a plan for the next few days where I can make up the rest of the binge calories from this weekend. I just have lost my "skinny cushion" and crossed over too the point where I actually am heavier than I ought to be. I need to get to my healthy weight in a healthy way, and I need to find support. I hate the way I feel right now, I just want to sleep, but instead I am going out to get wasted. Again.
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4 comments:
Hi...this is brie from blogxygen, and you're the one who left a hilarious joke on my blog. Thanks for that, you cheered me. At any rate, I look forward to reading your blog...and have I by chance me you before...you seem familiar...
hey there...I just found your blog. I am so terribly sorry you are going through this mess. I haven't found that many other people who are actively bulimic and journaling about it - so just wanted to say hi and that I feel for you! xoxo
I hate bulimia too...but you know what, I think both sides are hell, though people tend to be more ashamed of bulimia. I'm sorry you're having a rough time.
ps - how'd your fliers go? did it make your day (and everyone else's?)
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