Apparently, I am no fun

So I actually had a really good session with the shrink today and opted out of telling her I didn't want to come anymore. She said that J and I work very well for each other, but that I am using him to fill a void. Which is true, I hate being alone... As always, she thinks it's a Mommy and Daddy thing- my Dad was never around growing up and my Mom has a mental illness so she was present yet absent. Thus, I feel the need to constantly surround myself with support and love because I had those thing inconsistently growing up and can't trust they will still be there without a physical presence to console me. That is also why I suck at life when I am single, apparently. The solution, I am told, is to fully explore and resolve the feelings I have (neediness, separation anxiety, etc.) and learn to deal with them when they arise when I am alone. I suppose I'll just keep seeing her the next couple of months until I move and see where this goes.

I met today with a favorite female neuroscience professor to talk about balancing the career I want and family life. Apparently, people in my field rarely take actual time off from there careers, but significant slowdowns (like 3 hrs. a day) are common. I like this idea a lot because the full-time Mom idea freaks me out- like I'd go nuts with zero adult contact. So, a slight alteration of my plan has already occurred. Apparently, having someone with really flexible work schedule and plans as a partner (i.e. someone like J) is ideal. Sweet.

I also met the grad student I work with in my lab to set up my schedule this semester (really light because I am also supposed to be thesis writing), and got some good news: My thesis research, which was turned down for publication in a national scientific journal, is now approved after some changes and extensions I made last semester! Yay, by the end of this summer I get to have published research!
In brief, we showed that blocking stress hormones in the body can prevent some of the brain changes cause by chronic meth use (crazy drug, haven't toughed it since I started this project). Now that the article is approved there is talk of moving to clinical trials in the next year. Of course I will be long gone off to grad school, but I'm still excited. Haha, at the end of that meeting this grad student I worked with told me she didn't think I'd had a day of fun in my whole life... I'd like to think I've got her fooled :P

I'm back at the parents house for a few days before I finally have to go back to class. I miss J, but I'm having a good time. We'll see if I can resist the ED demons while I'm here...

Peace Dudes

xKimX