Every year, since about 2002, I make myself a "life guide". It lists the current state and goals for each area of my life (relationships, education/career, health/body, etc.) in June and December I look through these to check my progress and note how I have changed. I just completed my 2009 guide update, and from it I have (as always) drawn this year's New Year's goals and resoltuions.
1. Maintain healthy eating and exercise habits and allow my body to settle at a natural, healthy weight.
2. Get into a neuroscience PhD program, hopefully somewhere in Chicago.
3. Become fully financially independent. Yes, this even means getting off the family car insurance and phone plan.
4. Stay in touch with friends and family as I move into the next phase of my life.
5. Prioritize and appreciate my relationship with Jeremy.
6. Become more environmentally friendly (open to ideas/suggestions for implementation of this!)
7. Make time to center myself and relax. Become stronger in myself and more in control of my moods.
8. Become more informed about current events (I just set my home page on my browser to a personalized Google news page!)
What are your resolutions? I LOVE to hear about how people prioritize their lives and go about improving themselves. Also, do you expect to be successful? I do.
AND for those who are interested, these 'life guides' also contain my life long goals, which actually haven't changed for several years now:
1. Have a happy healthy marriage.
2. Raise two children into well-adjusted, happy adults.
3. Stay satisfied with myself and happy with my current situation in each stage of life.
4. Get a PhD in neuroscience.
5. Discover something that will improve the quality of people's lives.
6. See the world.
7. Be free, be present, be appreciative, be aware.
8. Fill my life and the lives of others with love.
9. Leave the world somehow better then when I entered it.
Happy New Year!!!
xKimX
Showing posts with label clean. Show all posts
Showing posts with label clean. Show all posts
12.30.2008
12.27.2008
Back On Track
So yesterday I tried to get back on track, but I ended up overeating anyway at night. But the good things about that day were that I did my workout, that I found out I got all A's again this semester, that I got an interview for the job I want in the spring working nights teaching a GRE prep course, that I lined up my second graduate school interview (University of Chicago and UW Madison so far!), that I got to have a good hour-long talk with Jeremy on the phone and that despite the storms my aunt and uncle arrived here safely from Cali. So the point is, yesterday I did end up overeating (like 3000 cals!), but it was overall still a really good day and I can't suddenly become obese overnight.
Today I DID manage to stick to my healthy eating plan, likely because I didn't let yesterday's disappointment get me down. I also made it to the gym again, did some work on my thesis, had another really great talk with Jeremy and got a bunch of errands done that I had been putting off. I am feeling way better! I am also feeling heartened that I will be able to go back to normal eating now that the holiday chaos has passed.
AND even though I have had some difficulty with my eating of late, I have still been doing AWESOMELY in terms of keeping clean. (FYI, my definition of 'clean' excludes booze and pot from the realm of drugs, it just means like no coke, meth, H, X and the like. I honestly would probablly still call myself clean after like acid or shrooms since they have zero abuse potential.) But yea, it has been over two months since Jeremy or I have done any of that shit, and I am proud of us.
And a little more on the relationship front... shit has definitely evolved. It has only been a short while (3 mos.) but I feel like this guy was freakin' hand-crafted for me. It's so rad, like I've never connected with another being like this outside of my madre. Oh ya, and big news- he's gonna move to Chicago (or wherever I end up) next year! He announced that that was his intent like a week ago and I was totally ecstatic/relieved because I didn't want to ask him to (resentment, etc.) but was totally wiggin' out about what would happen to us, so ya this like made my month. And I know I have to be realistic and a lot can happen and la la la, but hey for now I'm overjoyed.
That below is us after his company Christmas party wasted at a fav local spot, bwahaha. Hey, we didn't do anything shady, just ur usual Christmas cheer :)
Be healthy and love yourselves ladies and gents,
xKimX
Slightly later:
Gah. How come after I eat whatever the last thing I am supposed to eat is I suddenly start stressing out about the fact that I don't have more to eat. It's like when your coke runs out and you are really upset about it even before your high wears off from the last of it. Don't worry kiddos, I'll be strong, I have eaten the proper amount today and I know how good I feel when I stay on track. I can wait until tomorrow, I will be really strong for a couple more days, and then I will be all on top of my game 100% by New Years to start this 2009 biz-nass off right. But gah, I hate the feeling and I needed another little session of blog therapy to feel on top of it.
Sending strength to allll of you (and gettin' it back whether you know it or not!)
Peace, love, nighty night :P
Today I DID manage to stick to my healthy eating plan, likely because I didn't let yesterday's disappointment get me down. I also made it to the gym again, did some work on my thesis, had another really great talk with Jeremy and got a bunch of errands done that I had been putting off. I am feeling way better! I am also feeling heartened that I will be able to go back to normal eating now that the holiday chaos has passed.
AND even though I have had some difficulty with my eating of late, I have still been doing AWESOMELY in terms of keeping clean. (FYI, my definition of 'clean' excludes booze and pot from the realm of drugs, it just means like no coke, meth, H, X and the like. I honestly would probablly still call myself clean after like acid or shrooms since they have zero abuse potential.) But yea, it has been over two months since Jeremy or I have done any of that shit, and I am proud of us.
And a little more on the relationship front... shit has definitely evolved. It has only been a short while (3 mos.) but I feel like this guy was freakin' hand-crafted for me. It's so rad, like I've never connected with another being like this outside of my madre. Oh ya, and big news- he's gonna move to Chicago (or wherever I end up) next year! He announced that that was his intent like a week ago and I was totally ecstatic/relieved because I didn't want to ask him to (resentment, etc.) but was totally wiggin' out about what would happen to us, so ya this like made my month. And I know I have to be realistic and a lot can happen and la la la, but hey for now I'm overjoyed.
That below is us after his company Christmas party wasted at a fav local spot, bwahaha. Hey, we didn't do anything shady, just ur usual Christmas cheer :)
Be healthy and love yourselves ladies and gents,
xKimX
Slightly later:
Gah. How come after I eat whatever the last thing I am supposed to eat is I suddenly start stressing out about the fact that I don't have more to eat. It's like when your coke runs out and you are really upset about it even before your high wears off from the last of it. Don't worry kiddos, I'll be strong, I have eaten the proper amount today and I know how good I feel when I stay on track. I can wait until tomorrow, I will be really strong for a couple more days, and then I will be all on top of my game 100% by New Years to start this 2009 biz-nass off right. But gah, I hate the feeling and I needed another little session of blog therapy to feel on top of it.
Sending strength to allll of you (and gettin' it back whether you know it or not!)
Peace, love, nighty night :P
11.24.2008
Ugh. Hangin' in there.
Ugh. I just went out to a big steak dinner with my family and I feel totally gross. I suppose it wouldn't qualify as a binge because it was not "significantly more than most people would eat in a similar situation" and also because I was not alone, but the tight-skinned bloated belly certainly feels binge-like. I have a plan for tomorrow and I am truly trying to treat myself well; I will keep my portions in check.
Being with the family 24/7, being on vacation, and it being Thanksgiving week, I would say this is an ultimate test of my ability to truly achieve a state of ED recovery. I am determined.
On the success side, I did manage to avoid all processed foods today- no Doritos, Oreos, or other junk traps my family keeps stocked. Even better, way out here I am in no danger of any drug use, and I'll probably only have a total of about one bottle of wine all week, so the staying clean thing is going well (by default).
I'm still really worried about J drinking. I don't want him to have to run from anything. I understand that the fact that he recognizes and wants to fix the problem is huge, and I know he will. My problem is trying not to get overly involved. Where do I draw the line? I know I shouldn't guilt or nag him or push him into anything he doesn't want to do, but can I express to him how it worries me? Can I tell him I can't see myself staying with a man long-term who doesn't have that under control? Because that is true. I just love him and want him to be OK, and I don't want our relationship to develop any unhealthy codependencies. I dunno, maybe I'm making this bigger than it is, I'm just worried.
Happy Thanksgiving all... ha. ha. ha.
Being with the family 24/7, being on vacation, and it being Thanksgiving week, I would say this is an ultimate test of my ability to truly achieve a state of ED recovery. I am determined.
On the success side, I did manage to avoid all processed foods today- no Doritos, Oreos, or other junk traps my family keeps stocked. Even better, way out here I am in no danger of any drug use, and I'll probably only have a total of about one bottle of wine all week, so the staying clean thing is going well (by default).
I'm still really worried about J drinking. I don't want him to have to run from anything. I understand that the fact that he recognizes and wants to fix the problem is huge, and I know he will. My problem is trying not to get overly involved. Where do I draw the line? I know I shouldn't guilt or nag him or push him into anything he doesn't want to do, but can I express to him how it worries me? Can I tell him I can't see myself staying with a man long-term who doesn't have that under control? Because that is true. I just love him and want him to be OK, and I don't want our relationship to develop any unhealthy codependencies. I dunno, maybe I'm making this bigger than it is, I'm just worried.
Happy Thanksgiving all... ha. ha. ha.
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