Every year, since about 2002, I make myself a "life guide". It lists the current state and goals for each area of my life (relationships, education/career, health/body, etc.) in June and December I look through these to check my progress and note how I have changed. I just completed my 2009 guide update, and from it I have (as always) drawn this year's New Year's goals and resoltuions.
1. Maintain healthy eating and exercise habits and allow my body to settle at a natural, healthy weight.
2. Get into a neuroscience PhD program, hopefully somewhere in Chicago.
3. Become fully financially independent. Yes, this even means getting off the family car insurance and phone plan.
4. Stay in touch with friends and family as I move into the next phase of my life.
5. Prioritize and appreciate my relationship with Jeremy.
6. Become more environmentally friendly (open to ideas/suggestions for implementation of this!)
7. Make time to center myself and relax. Become stronger in myself and more in control of my moods.
8. Become more informed about current events (I just set my home page on my browser to a personalized Google news page!)
What are your resolutions? I LOVE to hear about how people prioritize their lives and go about improving themselves. Also, do you expect to be successful? I do.
AND for those who are interested, these 'life guides' also contain my life long goals, which actually haven't changed for several years now:
1. Have a happy healthy marriage.
2. Raise two children into well-adjusted, happy adults.
3. Stay satisfied with myself and happy with my current situation in each stage of life.
4. Get a PhD in neuroscience.
5. Discover something that will improve the quality of people's lives.
6. See the world.
7. Be free, be present, be appreciative, be aware.
8. Fill my life and the lives of others with love.
9. Leave the world somehow better then when I entered it.
Happy New Year!!!
xKimX
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
12.30.2008
12.06.2008
Vino Veritas
Today I was given two tickets for an "accident" that didn't involve any collision. I signaled to switch lanes, he swerved into a curb, and at the next stop light he pounded on my wondow. I pulled over but wouldn't give him my info without the police present. Long story short, although officer frinedly seemed sympathetic to my crying ass, I was ticketed for not having an insurance card on me and "improper lane usage". I could have fled the scene. I could have claimed I knew nothing about the incident. So many ways I could have weaseled out, but I felt all obligated and such. But I still think I can take care of it in court. I was supposed to lose my liscence this year but a little convo with the state's attorney saved me. Now I have this strange naive sense of invincibility. We'll see how it plays out.
With me in the car was my ED buddy, A. She is still in the depths of her struggle, and I think I am the only person she really shares it with fully. Maybe her boyfriend also. Anyway, she kept me pretty calm (aside from one short bout of hysterics), and I am glad she was there with me. We used to hate each other and we share an ex boyfriend- ED makes strange bedfellows I suppose- but now we're pretty tight.
After the incident I went to the grocery. I made dinner for J, myself, my room mate and my best friend (a guy I've known since 7th grade). It was a great time, and the best part was xero food anxiety.
After dinner, I told J I'd bought some vino and games and such and some friends and I planned to make an evening of it. He told me his brother wanted to jam this eve. I said, that fine, I am disappointed, but I didn't ask in advance, go ahead and have some fun. He then said he would call me at 11 or 12. At 1 he still hadn't. This is the first time he has ever not done what he said he was going to do, and I was hurt. Escpecially after I cooked him dinner. I called him and he asked what was going on. I told him my friends and I were finishing up. I hoped he would say he wanted to meet up with me, but I didn't ask. He said he would be at his brothers until late. I said, shortly, that's fine, bye.
But now I feel like crap. I have felt like this with other guys before, but it is the first time with J. I just feel lonely, and I know it is wine-powered and chemical and shallow, but I really wish he were here with me. I just pictured my evening ending snuggled up with him. I know I'm obsessing and being emotional, but I think not irrational. I suppose I'll sleep on it. Update to follow, I assure you.
I will say I am glad I get to see Dr. A Monday. A week does seem a long while to wait.
One cool thing- although I feel lonely and upset, the temptation to binge is minimal. A month ago at this point, upset with the boy, alone and a bottle of wine in, I'd most likely be a quart of ice cream and half a cereal box further into the ground. But I don't want that. I'm actually not feeling self-masochistic: I know that would make me feel worse, so I don't want to do it. This recovery thing is great- I am unhappy, but I am not compelled to test how unhappy I could possibly be. A distinct improvement.
Enough drunken ramble from your truly.
Buenos Noches,
xKimX
With me in the car was my ED buddy, A. She is still in the depths of her struggle, and I think I am the only person she really shares it with fully. Maybe her boyfriend also. Anyway, she kept me pretty calm (aside from one short bout of hysterics), and I am glad she was there with me. We used to hate each other and we share an ex boyfriend- ED makes strange bedfellows I suppose- but now we're pretty tight.
After the incident I went to the grocery. I made dinner for J, myself, my room mate and my best friend (a guy I've known since 7th grade). It was a great time, and the best part was xero food anxiety.
After dinner, I told J I'd bought some vino and games and such and some friends and I planned to make an evening of it. He told me his brother wanted to jam this eve. I said, that fine, I am disappointed, but I didn't ask in advance, go ahead and have some fun. He then said he would call me at 11 or 12. At 1 he still hadn't. This is the first time he has ever not done what he said he was going to do, and I was hurt. Escpecially after I cooked him dinner. I called him and he asked what was going on. I told him my friends and I were finishing up. I hoped he would say he wanted to meet up with me, but I didn't ask. He said he would be at his brothers until late. I said, shortly, that's fine, bye.
But now I feel like crap. I have felt like this with other guys before, but it is the first time with J. I just feel lonely, and I know it is wine-powered and chemical and shallow, but I really wish he were here with me. I just pictured my evening ending snuggled up with him. I know I'm obsessing and being emotional, but I think not irrational. I suppose I'll sleep on it. Update to follow, I assure you.
I will say I am glad I get to see Dr. A Monday. A week does seem a long while to wait.
One cool thing- although I feel lonely and upset, the temptation to binge is minimal. A month ago at this point, upset with the boy, alone and a bottle of wine in, I'd most likely be a quart of ice cream and half a cereal box further into the ground. But I don't want that. I'm actually not feeling self-masochistic: I know that would make me feel worse, so I don't want to do it. This recovery thing is great- I am unhappy, but I am not compelled to test how unhappy I could possibly be. A distinct improvement.
Enough drunken ramble from your truly.
Buenos Noches,
xKimX
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